The Voice of Truth

Wow, what a weekend! Friday night concert, Sat. lunch Thanksgiving, Sat afternoon birthday party, Sunday church and Sunday afternoon hockey game. (YEAH, Duncan scored three goals!)
I am exhausted.
But I have to share my Friday night concert experience.
We went to see Steven Curtis Champman and Casting Crowns. We love both and felt it would be great fun. We got meet and greet passes for after the show. I want to thank SCC for taking time to talk and take pictures with us again. He is always so gracious with his fans. The show was wonderful, but calling it a concert doesn't do it justice. It was a worship experience.
There was much adoption discussion with SCC because of his own adoption experiences. He also talked a lot of his family.
Mark with Casting Crowns talked a lot about Dyslexia and ADD and how he was still able to be used the in the way that God wanted. That hit home as well.
But the song, the Voice of Truth reduced me to tears as it spoke so well of my current feelings.
So I wanted to share a little of that song here.
If you get the chance you need to attend this concert when it visits your town. You will be blessed and have a great time as well.

The Voice of Truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"
Chorus: But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!
"The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again.
"Boy you'll never win!""You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

© 2003 Club Zoo Music / SWEC Music (Admin. by Club Zoo Music) / BMI / Sparrow Song / Peach Hill Songs (admin by EMI Christian Music Publishing) / BMI. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Toward the light

Imagine for a moment that your life ended NOW. No warning, no time to plan. It is just over as you know it. Suddenly you are walking toward a light. You see others also moving in the same direction. At first you notice they are from all different parts of your world. They have different skin colors and nationalities. Different languages, even different beliefs and lifestyles. But as you get closer to the light, you are starting to notice the distinctions are being lost in how you are all different. And by the time you arrive at the source of light somehow you are all the same. Reduced to your essence. You look around and try to find something to distinguish you from the rest, but there is now nothing. You are all the same. Beings without separation.
Conversation has started, you are asked as everyone else is, to talk about what you have done with your existance. How did you interact with the others souls who stand with you now. It is difficult to explain your actions, as national origin, skin color, religion and all those other earthly dividers are irrelevant. All that matters is how you treated and were treated by your fellow human souls.
How can you justify your actions now? What will you say? You rejected someone for what reason? You caused someone pain because they were different. You approved the mass killings why? You felt somehow chosen or vidicated in your actions because you were from where, because you believed what? But here they are standing with you and now you are all the same. You all need to have reasons for your actions and you can't use those earlthy dividing lines anymore. How will it work. What can you say?
Are your reasons for your actions justified in the light. Can you explain?
Then why do we use them now. Why can't we understand that these things are excuses for our behavior not reasons to justify our actions. We are back now, walking here in our world. With the light gone, the divisions are back too. How will we react?

How did I get here?

How Did I Get Here?
Two years ago I would never have imagined leaving Tennessee. I had friends, a network of organizations and non profit causes I was involved in. My children had friends, my husband had a job. My family, his family, there was so much in that one place for us. I couldn't see it any other way. And honestly, I didn't want to. We have a professional hockey team and a professional football team in Middle Tennessee for goodness sakes:) !
So how is it that a year and a half later I find myself in Alabama. The one state I said I would never consider living in? ( I'll explain that one later..) When the subject first came up that we consider a move here I was against it. But I tried to be open minded. I weighed the pro's and con's. But I kept getting messages, you should go. I also kept getting the message that something tragic would happen, but still we should go....
So, we did. 6 months later, we were settled into our new home, the kids were in a school they loved, they were making friends and I had just planted the perfect River Birch tree in my wonderfully self landscaped front yard :) I came in for a quick shower and bite of lunch before going to pick the kids up at school, then the phone rang... ...
Life changes.
We can't control what happens. In the time since the phone rang I have wondered should we stay or should we go. In fact I wonder a little about it every day.
I moved a lot as a kid, I attended 8-9 schools from 1st -12th grade. I moved a lot in my marriage. Probaby 20 times. I have always been afraid to put down roots. Afraid to be too open, afraid to give too much. It hurts when you have to say goodbye.
Today in church I looked around at our minister, his wife, friends from our group and others I am starting to know and I felt that I was suppose to be here, that these people were some how meant to be in my life. Now honestly, I still feel very lonely, like a stranger in a strange land. And I realize that even though some days I feel very close to these people, many days I look at them and wonder just who they are. I keep thinking, how did I get here and how do I go home again. (Where are those Ruby slippers?) You know what, it's true you can't. I wouldn't know where it was. We are where we are and I don't know what will happen tomorrow. The journey continues....

The journey home. 

Haven't accomplished much, but I dream of more.

This is my all time favorite song lyric. To me it speaks to the fact that people really never know us. We can have all kinds of good intentions in our heart but they cannot always be seen. Sometimes we are so different on the outside from what we feel on the inside. Sometimes people don't really understand us and don't really have clue what we would like to let them know. And sometimes we don't know either.
The title of my blog is My Journey Now. Taken from a classic gospel tune "I wouldn't take nothin for my Journey now." Don't know who wrote it but I think the Goodman's sang it.
Life is a journey. Each step an experience. We don't know the length or the path we will travel but one thing is for sure, it's a journey that we don't even control. Some of us are so obsessed with getting to the end that we don't notice the path. I do think we need to keep our eyes on the goal, but we have to live day to day, minute to minute no matter what life has thrown our way. And sometimes when we get the thing we didn't expect or even that we were most afraid of we find something in the journey that is an unexpected joy.
I look at life like a journey that we take. We were set on the path before we could know it and we will walk down the winding path with little sense of direction unless we trust that someone else is guiding our steps. We can dream our dreams and fill our heart with good intentions, but better lets try to open our heart and pour out our dreams on the path... for others to enjoy on their walk.

The River

Last night Live By Request on A & E featured John Mellencamp. I am sure this was to welcome my blog to the net:)
It was wonderful to watch. Commentary that so agrees with my way of thinking... :)
Also fun that my 9 year old son loved it equally. He is a drummer and loves the percussion of Mellencamp. I love the words.
So, I picked a few of his songs to profile on my blog. I like music that says something. The music itself is great and who can resist the mix of fiddle, accordian, rock guitar and kickin' drums of Mellencamp. But it is the lyrics that made me a fan.
So take a read.... Then we can talk.
Jan

To The River
They are master and slave.
We are sunlight and shadow.
All roads to the river.
I am lost. I am saved.
I'm beloved and betrayed.
All roads to the river.
And the river runs wide,
And the river runs deep
And I spit in the eye
Of safe company.
When I dive right down
To the undertow
Well, the deeper I drown
Lord, the higher I'll go.
I am whispering dreams.
I am howling revolutions.
All roads to the river.
I am valentine sweet
And I live in this nightmare.
All roads to the river.
And the river runs wide,
The river runs deep
And I spit in the eye
Of safe company.
When I dive right down
To the undertow
Well, the deeper I drown
Lord, the higher I'll go.
This is nothing like we planned.
That's the way it's always been.
All roads to the river.
I have hated and I have loved.
I have prayed and I have sinned.
All roads to the river.
And the river runs wide,
The river runs deep
And I spit in the eye
Of safe company.
When I dive right down
To the undertow
Well, the deeper I drown
Lord, the higher I'll go.
J. Mellencamp

Human Wheels

Human Wheels
This land today, shall draw its last breath
And take into its ancient depths
This frail reminder of its giant, dreaming self.
While I, with human-hindered eyes
Unequal to the sweeping curve of life,
Stand on this single print of time.
Human wheels spin round and round
While the clock keeps the pace.
Human wheels spin round and round
Help the light to my face.
That time, today, no triumph gains
At this short success of age.
This pale reflection of its brave andBlundering deed.
For I, descend from this vault,
Now dreams beyond my earthly fault
Knowledge, sure, from the seed.
Human wheels spin round and round
While the clock keeps the pace.
Human wheels spin round and round
Help the light to my face.
This land, today, my tears shall taste
And take into its dark embrace.
This love, who in my beating heart endures,
Assured, by every sun that burns,
The dust to which this flesh shall return.
It is the ancient, dreaming dust of God.
Human wheels spin round and round
While the clock keeps the pace.
Human wheels spin round and round
Help the light to my face.
Human wheels spin round and round
While the clock keeps the pace.
Human wheels spin round and round
Help the light to my face.
J. Mellencamp

Mansions In Heaven

The old paper mill stinks up the beaches
As I walk along the ocean shore.
I'm just a plain man, thoughts full of creases,
Haven't accomplished much, but I dream of more.
Mansions in heaven, I see myself walking with the King.
The angels are descending to wrap me up in red velveteen.
I don't control much of my home life,
I'm not an old man but I'm not young anymore.
Haven't kept in contact with any of my good friends,
So I live with strangers and sleep on another man's floor.
Mansions in heaven, I see myself walking with the King.
The angels are descending to wrap me up in red velveteen.
As I pack my suit bag 'cause soon I'll be leaving,
Going back to the earth which is where I come from.
Withstood the heartache,Kept on believing,
It ain't winning or losingJust the singing of the song.
Mansions in heaven, I see myself walking with the King.
Mansions in heaven.
The old paper mill stinks up the beaches
As I walk along the ocean shore.
J. Mellencamp

Void In My Heart

Have you ever wanted to say something without figuring out how? Well, I thought a good way to introduce myself was to post the lyrics to a few of my favorite songs....
Then my thoughts will follow in the next few days.

John Mellencamp.
Void In My Heart
There's a void in my heart
I can't seem to fill.
Been a parent, had three children
And a big house on the hill.
Hundred dollar in my pocket
And it didn't buy a thing.
Now there's a void in my heart
And a hole in my dreams.
Well I poured miles of concrete
And strung wire for telephones,
Dug ditches when I was a young boy
When I first left my parents' home.
Sang my songs for millions of people,
Sang good and bad news,
Now there's a void in my heart
And a fire at my fuse.
Well I did everything just like they said
So I could find happiness.
Went to school and got a college degree
And at my job I did my best.
As I sit here alone tonight
I see a billion just like me
With a void in their hearts and running from eternity.
There's a void in my heart
I can't seem to fill.
I do charity work when I believe in the cause
But in my soul it bothers me still.
Hey, Lord, well you made me like I am.
Can You heal this restlessness?
Will there be a void in my heart
When they carry me out to rest?

Wow, I have my own Blog!!

Hi,
After visiting the blogs of several friends and acquaintances from Crossbridge, I realized this might be a good way to get to know others better.
I am very excited. Hope to add lots of info soon.
Please say hello.
Jan