Revisiting Widows and Orphans

“Religion that God  
our Father accepts 
as pure and faultless 
is this: to look after 
orphans and widows 
in their distress…” 
— James 1:27 (tniv
Why?
Powerless, vulnerable, needy....
What is it that makes pure religion so hard?
Time, money, effort, consistency?
The ability to see Jesus in all, especially those who need something from us.
Inequality?
Wow, a narrow path. Who will find it?
So many questions.
Did you ever wonder why Jesus seemed to spend a lot of time teaching about the first being last, and no respecting of person and helping the poor and not being like the Pharisees?
Why is the path narrow with few who find it?
Why do we spend so much "church" time on programs, organized ministries, corporate worship, nationalism, and on and on?
Why do we hire ministers, build large buildings, hire staff, and ignore those on the pews?
Where are we lost?
I don't know. Human nature maybe?
Since I have become a widow of sorts I have pondered this and seen it from both sides.
I have had many kindnesses extended to me and I apprecaite all those, but at the end of the day, I still try to figure it out alone, as a woman trying to raise two children on my own.
Occasional, short lived gestures are wonderful. Better would be a committment from someone to take on the task of helping.
Better would be not brining myself to programs, but hands coming my way.
I am not alone. I hear this cry often from the last..... ignored by the first...
If we are the body.... you know the song.
What about me, how often have I reached out.
I don't have any answers for you today, and I am not convicting anyone on purpose.
But I can't skip over these verses any longer without feeling the sting inside.

Control

Each day holds new promise and new problems. Each day can become your greatest or your worst. The hard part is you don't know. You have to be willing to step out and continue stepping until you find your way. Many of us pursue the safest path available. We walk a line we know well. We keep things in tight control and try not to look to the side.
Each day as I drive to school I am on a road that is a ridge on the side of a mountain. I have often been easily frightened when I realize that there is probably about a 3 inch shoulder on this two lane road that has drop offs that are much steeper than tall buildings.
Today, there was fog...................
You get the picture. I couldn't see the drop offs but I knew they were there. In fact sometimes I could barely see in front of me. I often feel as if I can't breath when I can't see what is in front of me and can't tell where I am going while driving.
So much more in life. I have always wanted to plan things out, to know what is coming next and to control in every way possible all the outcomes.
It is funny how life can throw something unexpected your way and make you realize that we really have no control.
I know many of us think we do.
But we really don't. We control nothing.
We can lose our jobs tomorrow, we can lose our spouse and children to accident or illness. We can lose our freedom. We ultimately control NOTHING. We live in a fabricated sense of security that we have created by beleiving that we have any control.
When we are ultimately called on this fallacy we can do one of two things. We can fall apart and get very scared. Or we can realize that we were never in control anyway. We can realize that only God is in control and he is always there. Our choice is to seek his will for our life or to try to control it ourself. But ultimately it doesn't change the amount of control we have.
I am often blown away when I realize how much has been given to me and how much I don't appreciate it.
As I get older I lose more friends and loved ones to death.
I have no control, they have no control.
We do better to turn the control back over to God. He has it anyway. We only think we do. There is a great sense of peace that comes in letting God run the show and seeking his wisdom in our decisions.
It is very scary to think that way too. It is the greatest risk and the least risky path all at the same time. It is all in our perception.
Ultimately it is not about me. But it matters how I deal with it all. I impact those around me and those who I come into contact with.
Since I dont' have control I seek to put myself where God wants me and then try to always think of that as I react.
What great things that come my way when I view life that way. What great stress it takes from my shoulders. What peace I can feel.
I hope you can find it too.
Today I was reminded again of control and our choices in life. I was thumbing through a book I haven't looked at in a couple month. I found a note from a friend. The friend just passed away last week. Seeing her note in her own handwriting made me very sad that those wonderful hands will no longer write anything physically, but then I was reminded of all the wonderful things she had written on our hearts and how she totally knew all about control, who had it and who didn't. And she accepted that with wonderful grace. I wish that for each of us.

Happy New Year 2006

Hi everyone!
Happy new year 2006~~.
I am happy that a new year has started. For some reason I feel I can really accomplish something this year.
Of course, I probably feel that way every year. I don't remember. The older I get the less I remember about each passing year!
I have started to try to throw some things away in the last few days. That is a big thing for me. Next I will try to organize what is left.
After that I will try to put things where they belong on a regular basis.
How is this sounding so far? Realistic for most. Impossible for me I am sure. But I will give it a try.
I didn't stay up till midnight last night, but I was up about every two hours. I just missed the magic 12 midnight mark, but did see 12:05!
It looked the same I think. There were people in the neighborhood shooting off fire works or fire crackers as we called them in Tennessee. I don't know why. Does anyone have the origin of fire cracker. How about hose pipe and movie house!
But I digress......
I hope to continue my pursuit to totally revolutionize the education system this year. Also, to promote world peace. I think keeping our goals realistic makes them easier to attain.
I really have nothing to say. I thought I did. I will check back in when I do. Please feel free to commment. It makes me happy!
Jan

Grocery shopping with ADD

Several friends and relatives have asked me to post a blog in the last few days.
I have not been inspired!
The holidays, trying to keep our new school afloat and the daily life issues are almost too much sometimes.
I have also recently had to wrestle with a string of migraines that have knocked me out of some great opportunities for fun, such as Thanksgiving with my new nephew and his parents. Recently I had a pretty bad head cold for all my Christmas visitors to enjoy. But alas, I am feeling better.
So today just prior to the arrival of my dear friend Becky from Nashville, I decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store. The kids decided they might like to come along.
This would not be a problem for most people. But for me with a raging case of ADD aggravated by a head cold, thyroid condition and life issues it is almost too much.
I had a short list of about 15 items. Of course I came home with about 50. But that isn't the fun part.
My son who is now 11 and such a great kid, decided he wanted to push the buggy. My daughter decided to wear he clunky shoes which make it very hard for her to walk and balance at the same time.
The list was not in order of occurrence in the store, so the items were jumbled at best.
Now, I have about a 50% chance of getting all the items on a 15 item list on a great day, when I am full of energy and shopping alone with no distractions!
But today with the two arguing children, one who kept running into me with the buggy it was harder to remember what I had already found on the list and what I was still looking for. To add insult to injury I just bought a jumbo sized purse, (the reasons for that can be explained in a subsequent email), so finding a pen in this dark cave with a real trick. But I finally found the pen and marked off well over half the items. But then the sulking, staring man came along. I seemed to run into him on every isle. He was giving me that disapproving look that families like mine often get. I tried to ignore him while keeping the kids close enough not to receive any private comments from him.
The list even containing only 4 or 5 items was not in order so I kept forgetting what the 4 or 5 items were no matter how often I checked it.
All it takes is one question about cereal or incident of falling off shoes and I am totally obliviously to the items still on my list.
Finally I had one item left on my list and of course I was on about isle 15 and the item was on isle one! So we walked all the way across the store to get said item. Vinegar for those keeping track! And who do we run into right in front of the vinegar? You got it, the disapproving man! Well, I just got my vinegar and left him in the ketchup garden.
We finally made it to the check out at which point the kids ran ahead of me to get gum and I couldn't fit into the check out to start unloading my cart. The 150 year old lady didn't have a bag boy helping her and she was not in a good mood! Then she informed me that I must have a bad potato in my bag due to the smell. She asked if I had a ______ card and of course it was also at the bottom of the pit in my bag. I found it and scanned it so I could get my discount. Pulled the kids out of the lane, unloaded my cart and waited while my potato bag was inspected. I guess they didn't notice the leaking milk!
Well, this ADD store trip was completed when I started putting my groceries in the car only to find that I was parked right beside, YOU GUESSED it, the sulking, disapproving man!
I drove away knowing that we all create our own bad moods, that I have the two best kids in the world and that soon my friend would be at my home and I could relax with coffee, chocolate and conversation!
Life is full of little pit stops but having ADD makes them somehow flower and bloom in the strangest places.

Enjoy the new year. I got an email today from IMS and wanted to share their thoughts.
From The International Montessori Society

May the New Year be the year in which the realization dawns in the minds of people across the globe that there is indeed only one humanity not separate kinds of humanity, on planet Earth.

May individuals everywhere, rich and poor, in the bustling cities in the quiet countryside, from whatever station in life, no matter their color or creed - may all individuals who consider themselves members of the human family - offer their prayers for those who are suffering and in mourning.

May those who have the strength to do, help to heal those who have been hurt or who are sick. And may those who have the means to do so, become friends and caretakers of those who have been left alone, especially the children and the elderly.

May the New Year be the year in which the world comes together to cooperate in new and surprising ways.

May the New Year be the year in which the government of each country opens its heart of generosity to answer the cries of those in desperate need.

May the people of each country offer their unique talents and expertise to bring healing and renewal to the ones who are now downtrodden and without hope.

May this year be the year in which our actions are undertaken with the welfare of all beings in mind.

May our intentions be aimed more toward the expansion of happiness in our lives, and less toward the accumulation of things.

May this be the year all of us come to understand that means of defeating the enemies of world peace and progress are bonds between nations that are built of mutual respect,

May this be the year we come to know that no army can defeat the power of love in men's hearts.

May this be the year we realize that the forces of division and hatred and war are no match for the overwhelming numbers of individuals on earth who want to practice peace, if they consciously choose who choose to walk hand in hand along the path of acceptance and forgiveness.

May all those carrying enmity in their hearts and bearing arms against others this year hear the clarion call of reconciliation.

May neighbor reach out to neighbor to discover new common ground, new ways to appreciate one another, new opportunities to learn from and enjoy each other's company.

May this be the year for hope to be transformed into reality. By Andrew Kutt

Tagged again.

I am suppose to post 10 little known facts about myself.
I will do so for your amusement! Just to show what can be packed into 45 years!

1.) I was a radio announcer when I graduated high school. I did this for several years.
2.) I was a hair stylist in high school and trained as such! I also sang in bands from the time I was about 13 until after I got married. I always thought I would do that forever, but didn't.
3.) I was a professional photographer for a few years during my early 20's.
4.) I have lived in over 20 houses in my life, in over 1o towns and have attended more than 12 schools from 1st grade to college graduation.
5.) I have been consumed by basket weaving, quilting, crochet and various other hand crafts from time to time in my life.
6.) I should have been a psychologist, but accounting was sold as more profitable by my college advisor!
7.) I do have a CPA and do practice accouting.
8.) I have been married for over 23 years.
9.) I have two of the smartest, sweetest, most talented, beautiful children who ever lived!
10.) I need to add at least 10 more items to this list!

An added bonus

Well, I am playing blog tag. I was asked to go to my 23 post and find the 5th line. It says, "that was just an added bonus" Referring to getting to see John Fogerty when I went to a John Mellencamp concert.
I don't know who else to tag, so I will just skip out of this game.
I am breaking the proverbial chain. But I guess for some of you that is an added bonus!!.
Read my old blogs. I am too tired to post anything new tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

Storms of Life

Who would have thought when we moved to Alabama a little over two years ago that we would have now lived through parts of three hurricaines! I guess I should have. The first weekend we were here so many tornados came close by that there was natural disaster funding for insurance companies and my kids picked up hands full of golf ball sized hail.
Of course, those are not the only storms of life. With us loss of power means lots of extra worries. How do you crank a small generator when it doesn't want to start? How do you know how much you can hook up to it. How do you move a 190lb man from a bed to a chair, move a mattress and get the man back on the bed again? How do you keep your cold stuff cold when the fridge is not working. Oh, and what about air conditioning?
I have decided my favorite American of all time is Benjamin Franklin followed by Thomas Edison. I alo have deciced that the wonderful people at Alabama Power are my heroes. We have power back!! Only out about 30 hours this time.
All that really pales in comparison to what we are seeing on the news in LA, Miss and coastal Al. There is nothing to restore power to for most of those people. Most have no where to go. Things are terrible and they need help. I hope we can find ways to help them in the coming weeks and months.
I want to thank my ever faithful neighbors Brian and Sue for always being there for me. If it wasn't for Brian helping us get the generator started to run a lamp and a fan and occasionally the t.v. things would have been much worse.
The calls from both sets of parents were uplifting too. But at times like this I really know how far I am from home and how much I need my family and their helping hands.
I hope I can be renewed through all this to help others more. We all really do need each other and as much as some people don't like the saying, it does take a village. Lets all work together.
For deeper spiritual thoughts go to my other blog Deep In Spirit at http://deepinspirit.blogspot.com/
Jan