Control

Each day holds new promise and new problems. Each day can become your greatest or your worst. The hard part is you don't know. You have to be willing to step out and continue stepping until you find your way. Many of us pursue the safest path available. We walk a line we know well. We keep things in tight control and try not to look to the side.
Each day as I drive to school I am on a road that is a ridge on the side of a mountain. I have often been easily frightened when I realize that there is probably about a 3 inch shoulder on this two lane road that has drop offs that are much steeper than tall buildings.
Today, there was fog...................
You get the picture. I couldn't see the drop offs but I knew they were there. In fact sometimes I could barely see in front of me. I often feel as if I can't breath when I can't see what is in front of me and can't tell where I am going while driving.
So much more in life. I have always wanted to plan things out, to know what is coming next and to control in every way possible all the outcomes.
It is funny how life can throw something unexpected your way and make you realize that we really have no control.
I know many of us think we do.
But we really don't. We control nothing.
We can lose our jobs tomorrow, we can lose our spouse and children to accident or illness. We can lose our freedom. We ultimately control NOTHING. We live in a fabricated sense of security that we have created by beleiving that we have any control.
When we are ultimately called on this fallacy we can do one of two things. We can fall apart and get very scared. Or we can realize that we were never in control anyway. We can realize that only God is in control and he is always there. Our choice is to seek his will for our life or to try to control it ourself. But ultimately it doesn't change the amount of control we have.
I am often blown away when I realize how much has been given to me and how much I don't appreciate it.
As I get older I lose more friends and loved ones to death.
I have no control, they have no control.
We do better to turn the control back over to God. He has it anyway. We only think we do. There is a great sense of peace that comes in letting God run the show and seeking his wisdom in our decisions.
It is very scary to think that way too. It is the greatest risk and the least risky path all at the same time. It is all in our perception.
Ultimately it is not about me. But it matters how I deal with it all. I impact those around me and those who I come into contact with.
Since I dont' have control I seek to put myself where God wants me and then try to always think of that as I react.
What great things that come my way when I view life that way. What great stress it takes from my shoulders. What peace I can feel.
I hope you can find it too.
Today I was reminded again of control and our choices in life. I was thumbing through a book I haven't looked at in a couple month. I found a note from a friend. The friend just passed away last week. Seeing her note in her own handwriting made me very sad that those wonderful hands will no longer write anything physically, but then I was reminded of all the wonderful things she had written on our hearts and how she totally knew all about control, who had it and who didn't. And she accepted that with wonderful grace. I wish that for each of us.