That's not fair; but it's right.

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been willing to help other people. He has also always been willing to share with others. Sometimes our dinner time meal seemed sparse, especially the meat. But my dad would never fail to invite the neighborhood kids who were hanging around to join us. This really used to get under my skin. Why would he do that.
As we got older there always seemed to be extra people at our house. I remember a night when a lady who was afraid of her husband spent the night for safety. I remember various aunts and uncles and cousins using our house as a stop over, sometimes for months at a time.
We didn't have much. We usually didn't get any reimbursement for the help we gave others. I just never thought this was fair.
My parents never failed to offer what we had to others. After I grew up and left home when people would ask me to give an example of true christianity, my mind always went back to my parents.
Especially my dad.
He was always willing to take elderly shut-in's food. To take someone to the doctor or other appointment. He never asked for gas money and usually refused any type payment. He would spend his spare time cutting and hauling wood for church members, most of whom had much more than we did. He didn't get paid but he was always willing. I was always a little upset with these "others" who seemed to have more and seemed to me to be willing to take advantage.
But one thing I noticed is that my dad didn't complain, he didn't ask for anything in return and he never seemed upset by it.
He often sacrified what he could have been doing for himself or our family to do these things. He was willing to give when it cost him something he could have done for himself.
Now this really got to me.
We have a fun family memory that we often bring up. It was fair: My mom used to buy a half gallon of ice cream and instead of having ice cream spooned into bowls we had it cut into 7 thin slices served on a plate. That made sure we all got an equal piece.
Also, I thought my mom loved chicken necks. She always ate them when we were young. I didn't realize until I was away from home that she really loved the white meat just like the rest of us.
My point is that giving to others can take many forms. But the purest form that reflects what Jesus told us to do is the giving that requires self sacrifice.
We can do many things of our excess. Be it time, money, talent or other things and we may feel really good. We may bless people in the process and of course I don't think we should stop. But when we give of the things we could use ourselves and we sometimes even need that is when we are truly giving in the biblical sense.
I get it now.
When we try to actually give of what we have to the point that we actually feel it, others won't understand. But that is when we meet Jesus.
That is why Jesus says that pure/ true religion is helping the widows and orphans. Then we have to get into the messy part of life. We have to give of ourselves not just our means.
We have to sacrifice time we could have used otherwise.
We have to forgo something we wanted and needed to do for ourselves to take the time for others.
It is a hard lesson to really learn. I would venture to say that the majority of what we do in our benevolence programs is at a surface level. There are those within those programs who really work with the people and really give of themselves but most of us are giving of our excess.
I wouldn't trade my childhood for a picture perfect childhood. I am now very thankful that we didn't have very much. I am thankful that I often wanted what I could not have but others could. I am happy that I saw my parents help others with their modest means. I learned so much. But it took a while for it to sink in and it often left me angry and frustrated.
I can't just drive past someone in need. I can't say no. I can't spend much time focusing on my own problems because there are just too many things that still need to be done.
And daily I still miss it on so many levels.
For some of us it is a slow process. It is not fair in our earthly sense of fairness. But it is right.

Mark 12:41-44 41 And he sat down over against the treasury, and beheld how the multitude cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. 42 And there came a poor widow, and she cast in two mites, which make a farthing. 43 And he called unto him his disciples, and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, This poor widow cast in more than all they that are casting into the treasury: 44 for they all did cast in of their superfluity; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
Luke 21:1-4 1 And he looked up, and saw the rich men that were casting their gifts into the treasury. 2 And he saw a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. 3 And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, This poor widow cast in more than they all: 4 for all these did of their superfluity cast in unto the gifts; but she of her want did cast in all the living that she had.

This is such a powerful scripture, but I fear we fail to understand it. It doesn't just apply to money. But time, possessions, etc. Would you give your coat to someone who was cold if you would be cold after you had done it. Would you give your last 5 dollars to a guy on the streetcorner. Would you squeeze another chair under the table that is already full of people?

During this holiday season lets look around and see who we can serve and how we can do it. Not just by giving a $20 to the soup kitchen. But by inviting someone into our homes. By taking time to listen to someone who is in need, by offering help where it is needed and not just where we want to give it.
Start with the widows and fatherless and keep going. I'll meet you there..I hope.....